So I made up my mind that I would not make another painful visit to you.
OJBFor I decided this in myself: not again to come to you in agmat nefesh (grief).
TCENTSo I made up my mind that I would not come to you again in sorrow.
T4TAnyway, I definitely decided that I would not come to visit you again now. If I had come, I would have spoken severely to you again, and I would have made you unhappy as I did the last time I visited you.